Friday, November 11, 2011

here I am

It's been so long since I've been to my own blog that when I typed in the address last night, my browser didn't even pretend to recognize the URL. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but it isn't a good feeling.

The head cold that grabbed my daughter Wed. seems to have finally grabbed me. Sigh. I thought maybe I had successfully dodged this one.

It's cold now. Frost. So, if you know me, you know I'm in mourning. I think I'd be able to escape most of the winter blues each year if it weren't for Christmas. No rant this time, just an observation.

You know what I do with most of my time? I read. Not for me- for my daughter. Yes, we have school and that takes the majority of my time. I clean and cook and garden and do taxi service to soccer or basketball and violin and the grocery and whatever and manage church music, but mostly it feels like I read. There's the school reading (I read everything she reads for school), and then there's the preview reading. Our ritual goes like this: we go to the library where my 12 year old picks about a dozen books from the young adult section. I quickly scan them and usually reject at least one before we check out. After we get home I run all the titles past Common Sense Media. Sometimes there's a hit and that helps a lot. I don't always agree with their age recommendations, but their breakdown of content is useful. Next I do a Google search on parental reviews for the other titles. This usually turns up one or two helpful reviews. The reviews don't necessarily mean I won't preview the book, but I have a general idea about it. After yesterday's library stop, I'm left with just 6 books to pre-read, which is less than usual. (I vetoed two and approved several already.) It isn't just the reading. It's also the constant questioning about how much sexual, violent, dark, pessimistic content is too much for a 12 year old who reads almost as well as I do. It's exhausting, but it's worth it. I know that I won't have a kid I can nurture for long and that when we get beyond this point I can read anything I want and I'll wish more than anything that I had a few books to preview for her. So that's what I do.

I'm going through one of my phases about church again. If you've been reading here (and actually came back--thank you), you know that it's a cycle with me. Tolerate church. Don't tolerate church. I'm in the don't spectrum right now. Probably has to do with cold weather, but there are some other things too. Now Ruby is in the youth group and, while she never felt she belonged in the children's ministry, she does feel like she belongs in the youth. That's important. She has needed it. So when I think about flying the coup, I stop. I still think some other things, though, and they're unsettling. We still lead music. Seven and a half years is a long time to do any job you began thinking that it was a temporary volunteer position-- if we thought anything at all. I'm not really sure we did think anything, really. We were asked, and we knew we could, and so we said okay. That was it.

How are you?

9 comments:

Jim said...

I am fine. Welcome back!

I know how you feel about the church thing. Luckily, I'm in a new, startup church I feel really good about (will probably write more about that later). But I am also still webmaster of the church I left behind. A gig I thought would (a) be voluntary, and (b) would have more people helping than it did (although it is better than the first few years). It's a thankless task, even though I think I did some good things with it.

Cindy said...

Jim- do you link your blog posts to facebook? I know a lot of people do, and I think I remember that you do. I don't do the feed reader thing anymore because it was too frustrating since I could only read about 2% of what was in my feed.

Jim said...

Cindy, I do sometimes, if I want to publicize it. Sometimes I don't when it is either trivial or something I don't want the majority of FB "friends" to pick up on.

I still do Google Reader, but that's because I keep winnowing my subscribed list down, and everyone I read comes through on Reader fine.

Erin said...

Hi Cindy, I'm Erin and I live in Oregon. :)

It's a good thing that you preview Ruby's reading. Fortunately one of my kids doesn't really do any recreational reading, and the other one likes my recommendations (like Lord of the Rings).

My problem is that my educational reading is so emotionally heavy that for fun I only want to read stuff that is lightweight (Wind in the Willows right now). There are so many novels on my list, but they will have to wait.

I'm sorry you are in a down cycle about church. Hopefully it will resolve itself again.

Sorry about the frost. We're dealing with that here, too. They are saying we're going to have a snowy year...we'll see.

Cindy said...

Hi Erin :-) Ruby and I constantly butt heads about the books, but I guess that's normal. It's just that she reads so many. But I know that as long as I keep her supplied with books, her computer game time stays to a minimum. So I read. And read. And read.

Erin said...

I wish reading kept video game time to more of a minimum here.

For Elliot, it definitely does; he will chose a book over a video game at least half the time (especially since he got the Kindle).

The other one, not so much.

Andy said...

Yeah! You're back! Glad to see you write again. Things are well here, a mile from the beach. :-)

Anonymous said...

She's back!

Cindy said...

That you, Traveller?