nomads

Thank you to everyone who commented on and linked to Place and Time or wrote to encourage me privately. Your words and friendship mean a lot.

A number of you said that missional living begins at home with our families and moves outward, and that there's no rule for "right" missional living. It's a simple and obvious concept--that I very much needed to hear re-articulated.

There is so much being said right now about missional living. I wonder if I'm perhaps not the only person trying to engage in the emerging conversation who feels the strain of an un-intentional - possibly non-existent - bar of acceptance that hinges on appearing missional "enough." That's why Lily's and Heidi's posts struck a nerve with me.

I'm still not sure I can verbalize why Tony's thoughts on orthodoxy were so well timed for me, but here goes:

The idea is that orthodoxy is not a rigid concept, but rather an event, or series of events, that occured and continues to occur. Orthodoxy isn't owned or managed singly by the church fathers, but by all of us as we attempt to work out our salvation (Phil. 2:12).

Since none of us can help but read scripture through the lenses of our lives (Peter Rollins), how can we say that we're doing anything other than continually searching for orthodoxy within the ever changing realities of humanity? Though my sensibilities yearn for something solid to cling to, my heart only finds peace in the acknowledgement that God is beyond my grasp, therefore right belief about Him can never be declared complete. I am happy in my thirst and, for the first time in my life, prefer to know God as wild rather than tame (sic.)

Peter Rollins, How (Not) to Speak of God:

"As Samuel Beckett once commented, we use words in order to tear through them and glimpse at what lies beneath. The desire to say nothing, to create sacred space, opens up the most beautiful type of language available -- the language of parables, prose and poetry. This is why the mystics would write so extensively about how nothing can be written and would preach beautiful sermons about the futility of words. Without such well-honed words we may begin to think that we have something to say instead of viewing our life as the space out of which God speaks."

"For too long the Church has been seen as an oasis in the desert -- offering water to those who are thirsty. In contrast, the emerging community appears more as a desert in the oasis of life, offering silence, space, and desolation amidst the sickly nourishment of Western capitalism. It is in this desert, as we wander together as nomads, that God is to be found. For it is here that we are nourished by our hunger."

what the church should be about

At Solomon's Porch and Useless Ramblings, ken writes

"Earlier I met with a young woman (22 years old) whose husband died in January, has a one year old child and is pregnant with twins. She does not have her GED, nor does she have a job (she is a high risk pregnancy). I will be meeting with her and a woman from our church who has agreed to be her 'life coach'. When I find myself listening to some blue-haired woman complain about why the candles were not lit on the altar this past Sunday - or why we ran out of bulletins (Praise God... bigger crowds!) - my spirit will go back to the conversation I had this morning with this young mother. Alone and scared... she is what the church should be about. God have mercy on our souls."

Teens

Maria notes an article by Hara Estroff Marano in Psychology Today about the way our society infantilizes teenagers. Trashing Teens: "We are throwing away 20 million young people, psychologist Robert Epstein argues in a provocative book, The Case Against Adolescence. Teens are far more competent than we assume, and most of their problems stem from restrictions placed on them."

Maria wrote, "I'm not sure I agree with his conclusions that the solution to the problem is to speed up the entry of teens into adulthood, in the sense of giving them rights to work, own property or marry at earlier ages. But he sure makes some provocative points:"

(from Psychology Today):
"We have completely isolated young people from adults and created a peer culture. We stick them in school and keep them from working in any meaningful way, and if they do something wrong we put them in a pen with other "children." In most nonindustrialized societies, young people are integrated into adult society as soon as they are capable, and there is no sign of teen turmoil. Many cultures do not even have a term for adolescence. But we not only created this stage of life: We declared it inevitable. In 1904, American psychologist G. Stanley Hall said it was programmed by evolution. He was wrong.

"How is adolescent behavior shaped by societal strictures? One effect is the creation of a new segment of society just waiting to consume, especially if given money to spend. There are now massive industries—music, clothing, makeup—that revolve around this artificial segment of society and keep it going, with teens spending upward of $200 billion a year almost entirely on trivia."

I'm with Maria, not sure we need to rush our teens into all aspects of adulthood (who's sorry that 14 year olds aren't allowed to drive?), but Epstein does make some sense. Our 7 year daughter is growing seedling plants to sell- with a little help of course, but it was her idea and we're crazy about it. She earns an allowance, and can (and does) lose it if she doesn't fulfill her duties. She has some jobs that are simply her responsibilities which she doesn't get paid for as well (including feeding and caring for the horses-- Keith is even teaching her how to bandage Wrangler's injured foot). But, like many parents, we constantly struggle with her assumption of priviledge, which does seem to be part of the cultural issue that Epstein is addressing.

If you have a chance, take a look at the article. Interesting.

loose threads

Three posts today have made me stop and think. It's after 9 PM, (which is about the time each day I begin to drool and stumble) but right now it seems that these posts have a common thread and add to the thoughts I was trying to express in Place and Time.

Here are the links. Tell me what you think. Hopefully tomorrow I can pull it all together a little better.

Heidi talks about overcoming legalism in From Legalism to Grace: My Journey Away from Organized Religion, Part Two.

Lily writes about going cold turkey from treating the bible like a magical answer book in Reading for the Macro

and Tony writes about the nature of orthodoxy and some flak he took for those thoughts at Wheaton College.

I hope you have a chance to look over these blogs. Now I have to go make some cookie dough. I'll share a soccer cookie with you later this week.

How (Not) to Speak of God

I've been reading Peter Rollins' How (Not) to Speak of God. I won't be offering a lengthy review, but I'll occasionally quote a passage that stands out to me.

From Chapter 2, The Aftermath of Theology:

"We must speak and yet we must maintain our silence, we must maintain distance amidst the proximity of God, and we must worship while being careful not to make God into the object of our worship: for God is the subject before whom we worship. This site of uncertainty and unknowing is often a frightening place to dwell, but while the comfort provided by religion is placed into a certain distress by the idea of doubt, this distress, too, is not without a certain comfort. For while we do not grasp God, faith is born amidst the feeling that God grasps us."

Isaac and Ishmael

Ge 25:8-10 "Then Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years; and he was gathered to his people. His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah near Mamre, in the field of Ephron son of Zohar the Hittite, the field Abraham had bought from the Hittites."

Until this week, I never noticed that Isaac and Ishmael together buried their father Abraham.

rural life

Since kj recently mentioned our horse(s), I thought I'd give you an update.

Cupcake (on the right) hasn't been doing well. His arthritic knee has worsened; Ruby can longer ride him. Furthermore, the anti-inflammatory meds gave him a bad belly ache (colitis), which had him out of sorts for a couple of weeks. We'd been suspecting that the vision in his one remaining eye was worsening for a while. Apparently, the other recent problems caused his vision deterioration to speed up. He is no longer limping as much, but Cupcake is now almost completely blind. This has been difficult for all of us. The sweet old pony we've grown accustomed to hugging and loving on sometimes won't let any of us near him. He became jumpy, agitated, (understandably so) and wasn't resting well, plus at first he was still not eating well since the colitis.

While we'd been looking for another horse for Ruby to ride, we sped that process up because of Cupcake's blindness. Enter Wrangler. He isn't fancy - but he has turned out to be a great blessing for us. Cupcake is eating better, less jumpy and seems better over all. Wrangler seems to be trying to stay close to Cupcake- who listens for him constantly and apears to take comfort in his presence. That was our great hope. There hasn't been any posturing or prowess-proving between them. Sometimes animals just understand.

It is quite possible that Cupcake's blindness is being caused by a brain tumor. He has good and bad days. Today was not a good day. He wouldn't let Keith get near to brush him. Twice Cupcake was about to run into something (as he avoided Keith) and Wrangler neighed to warn him. If that doesn't bring tears to your eyes, I don't know what will. There's probably a lesson in there, but I'm too choked up to think about it.

Wrangler is a bit of a rascal. We had to turn on the electric fence for the first time in 2 years. He kept getting into the yard, though the grass in the field is far better. He's doing well with Ruby. Wrangler had been moved around a lot lately, but we think he's happy here, and we're happy to have him. HIs nickname is Pig- which surely requires no further explanation.

We're mentally trying to prepare for the loss of Cupcake. We want him to be happy and as comfortable as possible for the time he has left. We made that promise to him and we will keep it. Now, we'll make the same promise to Wrangler.

place and time

I used to have something to say. I taught in church all the time. I had some answers. I loved researching the Bible for answers to questions. I loved it when the answers fit together in a nice tidy package.

Over the last 10 years that tidy package has disappeared. I rarely teach. I rarely research questions. I do my best to keep my mouth shut when we’re at church. When I veer from singing and try to say something during worship or Sunday school, I almost always regret it. I don’t fit at church (any that I know of) anymore. Neither do I fit out of church.

The emerging church conversation has also become difficult for me of late, because in my world it’s all purely ideological. I can only live out emerging church ideals privately- which I think I was doing long before I ever heard the words emerging church.

Theological conversations have their place, and I’m thankful for those of you who engage in them so adeptly. I, however, cannot theologize for long. I’m too concrete. If it means anything to you, I’m an ISTJ. Best I can tell, that practically disqualifies me from the emerging church conversation.

When I read many of your blogs I feel out of place. Not only can I not theologize, I’m not urban; I’m pastoral/rural and quite happily so. Missional living for me is teaching my daughter at home and being the team mom for her soccer team. We give as much money as we can to various ministries and services. To me that isn’t missional. It’s just stewardship. I don’t (to revisit a thought from yesterday) feel that I’m contributing anything worthwhile to the emerging church conversation, although I am quite indebted to many of you who’ve been a lifeline for me over the last 2 years.

Like it or not (most often not these days), God has given me a heart for the Church. A Church which I, like many of you, see dying. Some of my greatest frustrations are with (Church) people who confuse faithfulness with closed mindedness, piety with hatred, and community with cloistering.

The history of the world and our faith is full of people who felt out of place and out of time. Right now, those are the people with whom I feel the most kinship.

traffic jam

Traffic Jam. In case you've been wondering, that's what's happened to my blog. Or to my brain, depending on how you look at it. There's so much I want to say that I don't know how to start. Or even if I should. I told someone recently I don't think I have anything worthwhile to say. That may or may not be true. I may have too much to say. How can you tell the difference between writer's block and writer's drought?

I'm going to make a real post tomorrow. Or at least I'll sit here and torture myself for a good long time before I give up.