i'm too late but here's what I learned/unlearned about church

"The Synchroblog: Things I Learned From Church That Didn’t Prove True And What I Am Learning Lately (TILFCTDPTAWIALL) is over."

Last week wasn't the week for me to participate in much of anything. However, I've been thinking on this topic since Glenn started the syncroblog. I especially liked Glenn' reason for starting it:

"I am tackling this issue not because I have an axe to grind with church as we know it, not because I am bitter, and not because I think people who are into attending and supporting conventional churches are inferior. Rather, it is to help me to understand my own thinking about what I have learned after serving as a pastor for over twenty years and being able to get a more objective picture of church culture for the last five years. Also, I hope this is a kind of corporate repentance for what I see to be the shortcomings, and sometimes, sins of the church. "

There have been some really great posts out there. Though I missed the boat, I have a few things I want to say in addition. These are the things heaviest on my heart.


Some things i learned from church that didn't prove true:

1. at church (and with church members) I can be myself because those folks love Christ and will exemplify that love in relation to me
2. i can trust the church with my heart
3. the church will be honest with me
4. i become who i was meant to be when i'm with the church and involved in church activities
5. the more i surround myself with church people, the better

What I have learned since:

1. It isn't safe to be myself with the church
2. Church folks can be some of the most viscious, unforgiving people around.
3. never, ever expect to be given the benefit of the doubt by the church
4. the church will not be honest with me
5. i can't fully be who i was meant to be within the church walls, because fear changes me
6. it is quite detrimetal to surround ones' self only with church people. when they abandon you, they do it in mass

What i'm currently learning:

1. i can be guardedly myself, on rare occasions, with carefully chosen church folks
2. not all church folks are viscious and unforgiving
3. sometimes some church folks are sincere in their dealings with me
4. as long as i guard my heart, i don't have to always be afraid at church
5. when i tell my non-church friends how involved i am with church, they immediately become guarded and a little suspicious of me.
6. in spite of all this, God seems to still want me to be part of church.
   (now I'm crying and it's time to stop.)