today

I'm very sad today and I don't know exactly why.

some stern words

From Peter Rollins, Treating Church as a Fetish:

"I have, over the last few years, had numerous conversations with intelligent, thoughtful individuals who continue to attend dogmatic churches that they no longer feel subjectively connected to. Indeed sometimes I speak to so many people in this position that I wonder if some churches are made up predominately of members who do not subjectively agree with what is being said, how it is being said, and the structures within which it is being said. And what is even more perturbing is that many of these people are not just pew fillers but actively involved in worship, speaking and leading.

"One of the problems I have with this is that, whatever a person says to me about not really believing in what their church is saying or doing, their very presence within the structure sustains it and supports it. It was Hegel who wrote about how the State can flourish even if no one really believes in it, simply because the majority continue to act as though they believe in it. People involved at various levels of the State apparatus can say what they like behind closed doors, but if they are engaging in the rituals that sustain the State, then they are sustaining the State.

"I must admit to getting increasingly frustrated with these conversations, particularly when I am speaking with confident, aware, independent people who are continuing to attend, not because they could not function without it, but rather because it would be too much hassle to make the break (perhaps because their wage depends on it, or their social networks are too intertwined with it).

"This problem has a lot of resonance with Marx’ writings on money as a fetish. It is all too common to chat with someone about how money is not some magical property that brings happiness, that working all the hours God sends to increase capital will damage the most precious relationships we have and that having a better car is not what life is about. Only to realise that, as soon as they turn from the conversation, they act as though they did believe all those things. This is fetishism at it heart, ‘I know this thing before me is not magical but I act as though it is anyway’.

"Those who stand in my position have all too often been sympathetic to these people who attend the church while saying, ‘I don’t really believe or endorse what is said’ because they are intellectually closer to us than those who attend such churches ‘naively’ (i.e. those who attend without questioning). However, we must resist such a seductive temptation and avoid getting drawn into sympathy for our friends in this position (and many of these people are my friends). For these people are the ones we should be critiquing most rigorously: for knowing what ought to be done and yet refusing to do it.

hi.

i've been AWOL, as some of you may have noticed. i think i'm tired of blogging right now. But Grace named me for a meme started by Brother Maynard that is pretty easy to handle. The question is "what is your favorite book of the bible?"

Hands down it's the Gospel of John. When i lose track of the essence of life, i go to john. i go to john a lot.

Second place geso to Jeremiah. I love that he cries then rails at God and spits and curses at the Israelites, all while doing exactly what God wanted him to.

this is me not being surprised

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (18%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (78%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

indulge me- updated

i know it's of no interest to most of you, but here is our little garden.
Update: I cooked our first handful of fresh green beans tonight! They're great!

baby corn

baby pumpkin

baby squash

you'll need to click on this one to see the labels. notice the fortress- so far no deer or bunnies have managed to penetrate it! i obviously misjudged how much relative space the one pumpkin and the many squash would require. We'll be cutting back the pumpkin and watermelon vines weekly- to nurture just a few fruits from each. It has rained in the 5 days since i took these photos. Everything is almost twice the size as you see here already. Oh- and there's basil over there on the other side of the tomatoes.

what a week

I know, I know, you're thinking, nothing for 2 weeks, then 3 posts in 24 hours. What's up with her? Well, it's the end of the school year and for a parent that of course means life is hijacked by end of the year activities. Even homeschoolers experience this phenomenon, in case you might have thought otherwise. Unless you truly keep your child in a bubble there are concerts, parties, award ceremonies, final projects etc... And, you know, a few more lessons to somehow fit in as well.

Which leads me to say....

This is our last day of school!

Every year it gets a little harder to be excited about my baby growing up. But do you know what? (Homeschool skeptics take note) Yesterday my daughter said in that super speed 8 year old way, "And tomorrow is the last day of school and soon we'll get in next year's books and I get to start looking through them and see what all we're going to study!"

I kid you not. She's ready for a break, but already excited about next year's curriculum- "Quest for the Ancient World." She's not a nerd. She's reading on an 8th grade level going into 4th grade (she doesn't know this, so those of you around here please don't mention it to her), which is something of a challenge for me, but she is not a nerd. She's well rounded, smart as all get out, athletic, artistic, musical and loves to meet people and go new places. She is everything I always wanted to be as a kid. And I am proud to have the privilege of teaching her daily. Plus I learn a lot of cool stuff, too. God is good.

we won!

2nd place in the group submissions category :-) There was a nice ceremony put on by the Clean City Commission this afternoon in which several categories of awards were given- homes, businesses and most importantly... funky junk.

the language of evangelicalism

I read a prayer request today in a group forum. The person who made the request no doubt was sincere and only desired comfort for some people who are grieving a deep loss. (I know the writer and she's going through some tough things herself right now.) I don't mean in any way to belittle that good intention. However, these words exemplify what I despise about the language of evangelicalism. Here is the sentence:

"Please surround them with your prayers and loosen God's comfort over them during this time of grief."

Of course this isn't by far the most offensive example of this kind of language. Understand, I used to pray the same kinds of prayers. I felt powerful and authoritative that I possessed the language that would require God to behave as I commanded. (sic)

Break down:

• What would someone outside the evangelical loop make of the words "surround them with your prayers?" Why not just say, "Pray for them"? What possible use has the word "surround" other than to communicate to other insiders that the speaker knows the "right" terminology?
  
  
• "Loosen God's comfort" WHAT?!! Is God holding on to his comfort until someone who possesses the secret language dials up the right combination? I don't think that the speaker believes God withholds love from the grieving if no one intercedes. So why use the words? Does the use of code language give us a feeling of greater belonging? Does it help us to feel more secure in Christ when we constantly use these kinds of words? Or is it that we like the feeling of power that comes from praying as if god cannot act without our instructions?
  
  
• Though this one isn't as big a deal to me, "during this time of grief" shows the use of unnecessary formality in our prayers. We'd never talk like that in daily conversation. Why not just say, "now," or nothing else since it's pretty certain God is familiar with the time-line in question?
  

This is just a short example. It's best that it's short. I don't like to soapbox, and I would go on and on about this given half the chance.

I used to pray aloud in church a lot. I led lots of studies, taught lots of sunday school classes and made myself available for such things as they were required. I never pray aloud in church anymore. I think part of the reason is that I became so disgusted with the evangelical language that I and others used that I'm now afraid that it might slip out accidentally. I have a hard time listening to most people pray in church now too.

China

praying for China today.

still away

hi everybody-
i have been on vacation this week and have extremely limited internet, so i haven't been able to check in here. we'll be home this weekend and i hope to be around more. see you soon!